It's 1.10am in the morning and I'm tossing and turning on my bed, couldn't get to sleep...This "thing" has been bugging me...The next thing I know, my phone rings!! A familiar number but not recorded in my phonebook...Finding it strange, I decided to pick up the call.
It's my ex-storeman from army. And he's still in the army.
"Hey Shang! It's Ah Keong here ah!! Can u pls help me? I need to pay my friend back $30 and he wants it back now...I'm so sorry for calling u so late but I got no one else to ask! Could you please help me?"
Deep in my mind, i'm recalling an incident when I once helped a friend too in the army... "Lent" him $60 and never got it back. However, I'm thinking to myself at this point of time...
Should I really lent him $30? I mean $30 is a very small sum of money...so being the nice guy I am I said ok.
"Erm...how u want me to pass u the money?"
"Just sent it to my account! Clementi got lotsa POSB ritez? Thanks leh!"
"Alright then. I'll bank it in for you, give me a call to confirm the money is in your account."
I then went downstairs to my ATM, transferred the funds and here I am typing this blog. Sigh...I'm thinking to myself now how come I'm such a nice guy. Not that I'm praising myself or anything but the fact is that when people need help they always seem to come to me. Be it girls or guys I'll help them no matter what. Is it like what the animal thingy said:
"You are Silver Cheetah, who can realize what the other person is wanting. You take care of that need without being recognized."
However, I'm rather sick and tired of not being recognized...I feel that I'm being taken for granted. Yes, I may not have much complaints but that doesn't mean I've none. Being there all the time for my friends is one thing, but sometimes I wish I could find someone who can understand how I feel and relate my feelings.
I'm not going to change cuz that's the way I am...neither am I complaining...I'm just feeling so lost and confused...
Maybe that's why my mood this evening was rather bad...People who saw my nick sensed that something was wrong with me...I didn't even enjoy playing my favorite game.
But this is not something that I can just tell someone and that person probably can't solve it anyway... So i've decided to write it all out...hmm a bit personal lah but I guess it's fine since only my real friends have this address...
Real friend = Someone whom I know I can just talk to and be there when I need him/her.
Thanks to my "seniors" Chloe and KP for being such nice and caring people!
Lexin, I know you're there too! Just that today no mood to chat leh...
I know I told dear that I'll sleep by 1am but tonite really cannot...I just spent 30mins typing out my thoughts and feelings...
Anywayz, I'll try to get some rest now. Going to Lavender later.
